You might be mistaken

“I looked on the floor but there are no books with a four digit all number.”

I look at the piece of paper she’s pushing at me. HM 1116.

“It stops after the three digit numbers.”

Okay first, that is bullshit. Second, this is after the same patron came to the desk earlier and asked me to go find the books for her because “she doesn’t know how” (also bullshit and, I might add, not my problem).

HM section does, for the record, go past four digit call numbers. ALL of the sections go past four digit call numbers. You are so full of shit, which wouldn’t even be half so annoying if you weren’t standing here lying to me, being lazy and expecting me to go do your work for you.

Oh, I get it. You thought that you were smarter than me, right? You thought I wouldn’t figure it out, is that it? It’s okay, I’ve only been working in libraries for almost a decade. Someday maybe I’ll work out the system enough to thwart your evil plans. But not today. Because I must be that dumb.

Here’s a heads up, sweetie – THIS IS UNIVERSITY. You are an adult now. No one gives a shit if you succeed or fail, because you are now responsible for yourself.

Now get the hell away from my counter and stop wasting my time.

-Late Fines

Published in: on August 28, 2010 at 11:48 pm  Comments (4)  

For the record

We’ve recently gotten new copies in the library. They’re easy to use, have a pretty good menu of options and best of all, for our cheap, greedy patrons – for the time being, they are free.

The free part seems to be confusing a lot of people. They either think we’re lying or they’re sightly annoyed. Either way, it’s quickly replaced by taking advantage of the situation. So for the weeks since they’ve arrived and until printing services gets their shit together, I will continue to find stacks of hundreds of copies of the EXACT SAME PAGE, see people plugging their USB drives in to the copiers, hitting print and walking away and (my personal favourite) printing off entire text books.

It’s oh so much FUN.

Now, as I said, the copiers are fairly easy to use. I was shown basic “how-to” kind of stuff, but really I know about as much as anyone else using them. I’m bad with photo copiers. Place paper in copier, hit copy, done. Beyond that, I have no idea nor do I care.

So when people come to ask questions about the copiers, I honestly don’t know what they’re expecting. I work at a goddamn library, not Kinkos. Figure it out.

“I can’t figure out how to work your copiers.”

Now, this came from a faculty member this morning. You’re a professor and you’re telling me you CAN’T work a photo copier? Okay. Well first off, you don’t need that cop-eze card any more. The copying is free right now. Second, it’s a photo copier.

“I looked at the instructions and they don’t make any sense at all.”

Yes they do, I’ve read them too. You strike me as someone who has given up before they’ve even tried. But I agree to come and take a look.

Remember how I said that I don’t actually know any more about the copiers than any one else. I know how to clear a paper jam and refill the trays. That’s it.

So I look. I read icon labels. I press some buttons that might work. I test a page.

It worked.

“I don’t know what I would have done without your help.”

Here’s a thought, you would have tried doing exactly what I just did. It all would have worked out in the end. Especially now when the copying is free and you can keep pissing around until you figure it out. Stop coming to bother me to do things for you that you’re perfectly capable of doing yourself. I’m not here to hold your hand through everything.

You’re faculty and as so many in your position like to remind me, that means that you’re supposed to be all knowing and all wise while I’m just a library assistant.

Next time, just refer to this:

Published in: on August 27, 2010 at 3:59 pm  Comments (3)