That’s a first

“Good afternoon, *** library.”

“Is there a charge for using the library?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Is there a charge for using the library? I thought I was free.”

“It is free.”

“Then why is there a charge on my account? I got a letter saying I owe $15.”

“May I ask what the letter says?”

“It says it’s a fines and fees notice and that I owe $15.”

“So you have overdue fines?”

“What do you mean? I thought you said it’s free!”

“Yes, ma’am, the library services are free but when items are returned after the date due they are subject to library fines.”

“I didn’t know that! How much are they?”

“They are normally between $0.50 and $1 per day.”

*huff, grumble, swear* “Well I’ll just have to come down to the library then!”

“Have a nice day.”
-Late Fines.
Published in: on April 8, 2010 at 7:49 pm  Comments (6)  

Now you know

The vast majority of you will likely never end up standing across the counter from me and chance are good that the very few who do will likely never know that it’s me. Chances are good, however, that you will end up across the counter from someone like me and trust me, in a job like mine you entertain yourself any way you can.

Here are a few things you should know.

– I am judging you based on the items you take out. Harshly. I was worse when I worked at the public library. Academic libraries, fortunately, don’t normally handle a lot of romance novels.

– If you go to the library on a regular basis, they probably have a nickname for you. It’s probably nothing flattering.

– “No problem” usually means “You’ve been a giant pain in the ass”.

– I don’t really care why you want the book. I’m just here to sign it out for you. Actually, that goes for pretty much any information beyond your card number.

– Coming up to the counter talking on your cell phone, tossing your card at me or ignoring me all together makes me want to hit you. You can expect the minimum of service I can give you if you pull that kind of shit.

– People at the checkout counter earn a fraction of what Reference Librarians earn. When you come to the checkout counter and ask reference questions you will a) annoy the person you’re asking and/or b) be directed to the reference desk. You could save us all a lot of time by just going there in the first place and making them work for that money.

– We’ve all heard every excuse anyone has ever come up with for why they shouldn’t have late fines. We are also not stupid. So either own up and just pay the damn thing or at least try to be entertaining. Some of us have blogs to write and you’re providing us material.

That’s really just the tip of the iceberg but more than enough for now.

-Late Fines.

Published in: on April 3, 2010 at 8:25 pm  Comments (4)