I am NOT touching that

“Oh my GOD!” 

That is not what you want to hear from a co-worker when you’re upstairs doing pick-up. Whatever it is, it’s not good. My bet is a condom, she doesn’t sound panicked enough for it to be a dead patron.

I bet wrong. It’s not a dead patron but it’s definitely disgusting.

A used pair of underpants is crumpled on the floor in the back corner. I am so not picking those up. 

“What are we supposed to do with those?”

I have no idea. As far as I’m aware, abandoned underpants removal is not in my job description. If it is, it’s time to start printing off resumes and hitting the streets again.

“I’m not picking those up.” 

Good, we’re agreed.

When we head downstairs we mention the “underpants situation” to our boss. The “not touching them” part of the story is stressed heavily. She does the only sensible thing any one could have done.

She gets a ruler and heads up stairs. We watch her head to the corner and emerge with the offending item dangling from the end of the wooden stick. Then she heads across to Ontario’s office and hangs them from his door handle.

What I say? Some days you need something to keep you entertained.

Published in: on April 17, 2009 at 2:30 am  Comments (7)  

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Ha! and Ew! That is hilarious and disgusting all at once. Who would leave those there? Don’t you notice when you go to the library with underwear on and leave without them?

    • There are actually several people who probably would and you of all people should know better than to ask something like that. hahaha

  2. Shit, sorry I left those there. I thought you’d like it.

    • I should have known!

  3. Er.
    So, uh, when you say they were “used”, just HOW bad was it?
    Was the evidence noticeably visible, or olfactorily noticeable, or… or what….?
    I simply must know, so I can imagine it with the appropriate amount of horror.

    • They were used. Noticeably. Rumpled and… damp looking. I didn’t get close enough but I was told they were a bit whiffy.

      • Wow.
        Well, apparently some people get really excited by libraries.
        How sweet that they wanted to share their excitement with you.

        Could be worse; they could have left a “secret admirer” card on top… a card with your name handwritten on it.

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